Discover Walla Walla

In Chicago, red hots (hot dogs, to the rest of us) are taken so seriously that some of the finer hot dog establishments charge ten cents extra for that little bit of flaky charring the tube steaks get from spending a minute longer on an open grill. But we digress.

What brought this factoid to mind was our trip to Pendleton recently to sample the wares at the Char-Burger, which has, right on its mansard roof, the words "PENDLETONS FINEST." One assumes that there used to be an apostrophe, and either a strong wind or some Roundup revelers removed it, but you never know.

The Char-Burger is approximately 75 percent kitchen and 25 percent dining room, a healthy ratio in our book. (Of course, the Ice-Burg in Walla Walla is 100 percent kitchen, but that's another story.) The dining area has two four-person booths and a short window-facing counter with four stools. The dutch door into the kitchen serves as the order-taking area and cashier's stand, and offers a prime view of the leaping flames on the grill.

Our only disappointment during our visit was that the milkshake machine was out of service. It was one of those days when a milkshake seemed almost mandatory alongside a burger; but it was not to be.

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We're not sure exactly how to defend this confession, but we have spent a dozen or so years in the Walla Walla Valley, luxuriating in everything it has to offer the hedonist and gourmand, and never tasted a Jason Burger.  We know, we know.

At least a few of you are shaking your heads, we can tell, and are wondering if we will be willing to surrender the esteemed Bürgermeister title immediately.

And to further humiliate ourselves, we will disclose right off that the napkin rating for the Jason Burger we ate recently was an unprecented 9.  That's right, nine napkins were required to consume this burger.

We're writing, of course, about the famous burger available at the Tuxedo Bar & Grill in Prescott, a short jaunt from Walla Walla.

Where to begin?  This is a bar with a family dining area, so bringing the kids is not an issue, even if the overall impression is not necessarily kid-friendly.  The block it's on is... unimpressive, shall we say, but for the avid burger hunter, this of course only raises the stakes and makes the appetite swell in anticipation.  Serious burger-safari aficionados always hope to find the elusive burger-in-the-wild, don't we?

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I love eating outside.  I really don't know why except that it's different from the "norm" and makes me feel kind of trendy and cool (a feeling I'm not typically given the chance to enjoy).  The great thing is that it seems most eateries in the Walla Walla area offer outdoor seating, whether it's a quick meal at Pita Pit or five-star dining at Saffron Mediterranean Kitchen.  And of course you're not a "real" coffee shop if you don't offer patrons a place to don their sunglasses and people-watch from behind the New York Times.

This time of year is perfect for patio seating, too.  And this year, it's been extra amazing.  True, the sweater weather clung on a little longer than even I, a fully-in-favor-of-clothing and anti-summer-style kind of person would have liked, but the end of June was fantastic.  I can handle 75-80 degrees with a light breeze from the south.  Bring it on!

Though I can't claim to have tried every available outdoor seating venue in the Walla Walla Valley, I have utilized quite a few, and I want to share some of my favorites with you (in no particular order).

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Back in the day, there were three taverns that shared a certain Walla Walla crowd’s affections:  The Red Apple (located where the Coffee Connection currently operates), the Blue Mountain Tavern (now the Blue Mountain Tavern and Casino), and the Green Lantern.  The three handily color-coded venues were affectionately known as the Red, the Blue and the Green.

The Blue has undergone several transformations, the Red just might be the only restaurant no one in Walla Walla really mourned when it finally gave up the ghost many years ago, but the Green has consistently provided a congenial spot to meet friends and have a beer.

Over the last few years, however, the Green Lantern has stepped up the food offerings to include gourmet pizzas and fish tacos, and they starting using Thundering Hooves’ locally-grown, pasture-finished beef for their hamburgers.  The logical extension of all of this is happy news for some of us:  they are open for lunch.

Which brings us to this month’s Bürgermeister’s Blog destination, and a sampling of the Green Lantern cheeseburger.

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When I heard they'd sold Merchants I was horrified. The iconic deli/bakery was a favourite across the valley, and no one who went to their memorable Wednesday Spaghetti Night ever missed it again if they could help it. While shopping downtown, it was a great place to stop in for a breather with a bagel and an iced tea. Some friends of mine went every Tuesday and alternated who paid; they bought a large loaf of whatever bread looked good that week and a chunk of cheese they'd never tried before.

If nothing else, the most unique and notable thing about Merchants was their order-call system. Upon placing your order, you were given a playing card, the face value of which was written on your ticket. When your meal was ready, they'd call out your card - "Jack of Spades!" "Nine of Hearts!" - and you'd motion them to your table.

About a month ago the "new" restaurant opened. Thirty-four-year-old Merchants was no longer; it had been replaced with the Olive Marketplace and Café. And last week, I finally got a chance to check it out.

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After a brief hiatus, the Bürgermeister is happy to be back on the circuit, with a special report from Umapine, OR. Yes, it was time to revisit the Water Hole Tavern and sample the Big Beefy Burger once again.

For Walla Wallans who have been spoiled by the close proximity of everything, the Water Hole can seem like a trek. We'll get the directions out of the way: Take Highway 11 as if you're headed to Milton-Freewater, and make a right at Stateline. Continue on for five miles (you may suspect erroneous directions at this point in your journey, as even the farmhouses start to disappear and you are cruising through vistas of rolling farmland that do not bode well for the hungry), and look for a road on the lefthand side marked only with a green street sign that says "UMAPINE RD." (Now, Google Maps shows this as Umapine Stateline Highway, but we found no on-the-ground corroboration for this.)

Take this road south for two miles and you will find yourself at an intersection with a stop sign. On your far right is a beautiful old school building that, last we heard, was being converted into a foundry. On your left on the opposite side of the road you should be able to see Tate's Mercantile, and the Water Hole is directly on your left on the near side.

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Ham is a tradition in our family-starting this year.

I grew up in Nashville, Tennessee. My family ate Tennessee country ham and biscuits for breakfast on Christmas morning. The salt-cured ham was a special treat reserved for the holidays-generally a gift form one of my father's patients who couldn't pay his doctor's bill.

My mother scraped the green-blue mold off the ham, soaked it in water in a five-pound lard tin for a couple of days to remove some of the saltiness, then simmered the ham in the same tin on the stovetop starting late on Christmas Eve, letting it slow-cook all night long so we'd have a ham ready to slice on Christmas morning.

When I married Annie, we visited her family in Richmond, Virginia on Christmas every now and again. Virginia ham and rolls were part of their Christmas Eve dinner. The Virginia ham was incredibly salty and therefore sliced very thin. A little bit went a long way on a homemade yeasty roll.

And then we moved west and lost touch with the Christmas ham tradition, until this year when I happened to see a ham recipe in a magazine. The memories came streaming back. I decided to give it a try.

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Walla Walla finally has an upscale night club with dancing. Ladies and Gents, may I present to you . . . The Red Monkey! - I know, I know, the name does not reflect the major upgrade in night clubbing that "The Monkey" represents. But let's excuse the owners for their strange taste in names and, rather, applaud them for opening a true dinner dance club that does not cater solely to the 24-and-under crowd and their rap music.

In fact, before 9:30 on a Friday night, "The Monkey" more closely resembles a classy Sports Bar than a Dance Club with its multitude of large flat screen televisions strategically placed throughout the establishment. The dinner menu is solid. Everyone in my gang seemed to be happy with their burgers, barbequed pork and salads. I had the chicken quesadilla which was tasty and not too salty . . . a good thing.

As the night progressed, the Happy Hour crowd and early dinner couples began to dwindle and were replaced by the younger crowd. Not a problem. There's actually a dress code and young ladies entered dressed to the nines, wearing a myriad of sultry pant and skirt ensembles, instead of the usual jeans falling off the hips or pajama bottoms. And the lads looked nice, too: Collared shirts, dress shoes and jeans, instead of the normal oversized hockey jersey, the ball cap to the side and unlaced monster sized basketball sneakers. 

As a male in his mid 40's, I felt quite at home. It's the type of place folks in their 30's to mid 50's have been aching for since I moved here in 2003 -- a place to go dancing that plays music we recognize and makes you feel like you're having a "night out" instead of getting in the way of the drinking duels of 22-year-olds who didn't have the time to comb their hair before making their motley appearance. The constant presence of security folks shows that "The Monkey" doesn't want to be a haven for macho man fights. God bless them.

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It's that time of the year when every food and wine related magazine's focus is "turkey talk." And with every article, the standard Q&A suggests Pinot Noir is the wine to pair with turkey. Blah-blah-blah and blah!

Hey Pilgrim, do you see a lot of Pinot Noir in the Walla Walla Valley? And when you consider that we celebrate the holiday with an abundant feast of savory and sweet, why limit yourself and your guests to one kind of wine?

The Bird: Every Spring many Walla Walla wineries release a variety of crisp rosés from Cabernet Franc to Sangiovese. These pastel colored wines are softer and less tannic offering the right amount of acids to balance the richness of the turkey. Hopefully, you already have a few Walla Walla produced rosés in your cellar as they sell out quickly. If you're one of those people who tout, "I only do redsss," think about softer and fruitier Merlots and Sangioveses or even an aged Cabernet Sauvignon. If your cellar is looking a little empty L'Ecole No 41 often has a selection of library wines available for purchase.

If you are a white wine drinker and want to highlight the buttery flavors of the turkey, ‘taters, and gravy, there are several aromatic white wines that will enhance the main dishes. Check out Locati Cellars Pinot Grigio, Seven Hills Pinot Gris, SuLei Cellars Rousanne or go bubbly with Tru Cellars Blanc de Blanc.

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I wrote a newspaper column a couple of weeks ago about how I'm learning to cook. I got a flood of mail from women who, like my wife Annie, want to retire from cooking and get their husbands to take over in the kitchen. They wondered whether I might have any advice to offer. Well, of course I do.

If you'll follow these directions to the letter, pretty soon your hubby will be cooking while you sit at the table reading the newspaper, thinking great thoughts, tapping your foot, waiting for him to bring you a glass of wine. So, let's not screw this up. Okay?

Here's your Achilles' heel: you know how to cook and therefore have wisdom to share.

Here's my suggestion: keep it to yourself.

This is your man's new job. It needs to be challenging. So let him cook on his own, even if he has to learn a lot of lessons the hard way. You wouldn't think of going out on the golf course to whack his ball for him. So don't go into the kitchen to help him. Hands off.

This may be as hard as anything you've ever done. After all, you're going to see him doing things the wrong way. He's going to mess up some-maybe a lot. Some of his dinners will be debacles. It's okay. Debacles are memorable.

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